Questions and Crystals
by Tirfarthuan
Summary: "What do you fight for?" "Love and justice." She had never doubted that. Love and justice were beautiful things, and in their names she did wonderful things. But maybe, just maybe, she should have stopped to think about it at least once.


Sailor Moon is rather notable in how the characters and events are greatly different in canon anime, canon manga, and fanon. It is not exactly a perfect storyline by any means, and in the end there are as many unanswered questions as there are answered ones. And it is safe to assume that some of the answers were misleading truths or blatant lies. I always wondered exactly how Sailor Moon came to rule Crystal Tokyo, and here is a possible answer.

Or perhaps not. It doesn't answer a lot, but it does pose some questions and provide some hints at what comes next that makes the question of who is really 'good' and who is 'evil' so uncertain.

The Black Moon Family did make some good points, after all, even if they were more than a little misguided. And Neo-Queen Serenity probably had good intentions, whatever the results.

This one-shot is in two parts. The first part could be anything from literal truth to frozen dream. The second is from Serenity's point of view. I would like to point out, in passing, that anything that mysteriously appears from tears shed in grief and sorrow (as a certain crystal is in the manga) is probably not trustworthy.

If anyone picks up on any mistakes, especially regarding events that I mention, please let me know so that I can look into it and possibly do something about it.

Without further ado:

Questions and Crystals

_You haven't answered my question lately._

She ignored it, the un-voice in the ice. She had a lot of practice at ignoring it, considering that she didn't have much else to do anymore. She could talk to it, of course, but that never seemed to end well. At best she'd walk away (metaphorically of course, since neither she nor anyone else had walked anywhere for quite some time now) with a headache if she tried to interact with it.

It wasn't really the un-voice's fault, she knew. That didn't make it any easier, quite the opposite really, as if she could blame it she could justify getting rid of it. But it wasn't its fault that it was only an un-voice, that it 'spoke' in the slow grinding of ice crystals and the chime of frozen water and the shimmer of light passing through the translucent frost that the world was embedded in. If it could speak with a human tongue through human lips, then it would. But it couldn't, and she couldn't blame it for that inability.

She was the one responsible for that, after all.

It had been quite some time before she had realized that what she was 'hearing' was not natural. It had been some time after that before she could comprehend its 'words'. When she had finally managed to understand, she had been ecstatic. Who wouldn't have been? After so long, she finally had someone, or at least something, to talk to! But the truth was, her mind had never been as agile as Ami's, and even after all these years conversing with the un-voice still pushed her to her limits as her brain struggled to put words to the un-voice's sendings. It was not easy to put the distilled essence of the un-voice's thoughts and feelings into words, and often 'distilled' was as applicable to what she sensed from the presence as 'hardworking' had been for her when she was still Tsukino Usagi. And beyond that, there was the other problem with speaking (if their communication could be called speech) with the un-voice.

_Of course, when I say 'lately' I mean 'ever', since your pathetic attempts at responding could hardly be called answers!_

It wasn't particularly pleased with her.

That was a bit of a hyperbole and a litotes at the same time, Serenity mused (part of her felt just a little smug at understanding such terms, Rei had been so sure that she would be unable to pass those courses in rhetoric, but in her drive to prepare herself for the coming of Crystal Tokyo she had forced herself to do her best, after all, a queen had to be able to act like one). Her 'companion' didn't exactly hate her, it just seemed to have a deep loathing for her motives, her actions, her goals, and… well just about everything about her that the un-voice felt was an important quality in a leader, really. Yet in spite of this, it had, upon being asked, maintained that it held no grudge against her personally, and would be more than pleased to help her 'get better'.

She still wasn't entirely sure what it meant by that.

She didn't really have a whole lot to complain about in regards to that. It was willing and able to converse with her about anything she wanted to talk about, and never seemed to get bored. It was neither petty nor spiteful, it was brutally honest, and it would listen to her troubles with, if not a sympathetic ear, at least an accepting one. The only flaw that it had was that it would occasionally come up with questions for her, and would insist on discussing the issues that they involved with her for vast lengths of time. And, well, it never got bored, and it would resist all efforts on her part to change the subject or ignore it. It would also make subtly, and not so subtly, provocative comments in an effort to get her back on task.

If the un-voice had wanted to talk about ice cream or space travel or anything that might actually be interesting she wouldn't keep trying to ignore it. But it was always, 'What is the strength of a wheel?' or 'What is the value of an empty jar?' which were inevitably metaphorical and confusing even if they had a point to them, or the less metaphorical but even more annoying ones like 'What is the distinction between good and bad men?' or 'Why do you insist on associating darkness with evil?' or the current one, which was 'What do you fight for?'

_At least try to respond, will you? You're supposed to be Queen of the World, or something like that, right? Don't tell me you can be outdone this easily._

Doing the mental equivalent of twitching her eye, Serenity snapped at the un-voice. "Crystal Tokyo. It's Crystal Tokyo. And I've already answered your stupid question. It's hardly my fault if you aren't satisfied with my answer!"

Her voice (in truth a magically reverberation that transmitted her thought into the ice around her) conveyed her feelings well, but the un-voice was unaffected.

'_Love and justice' is hardly a good attempt. You could at least try to be a little more honest, with yourself at least. What sort of ridiculous answer is that anyway?_

"I've been fighting for love and justice ever since I first became Sailor Moon, ghost!"

_You've been saying that you fight for love and justice ever since you became Sailor Moon. That doesn't make it true._ It paused._ And I'm not a ghost._

"You aren't anything, as far as I can tell. You don't even have a name!"

_Not only was that a fallacy, it was a pathetic attempt at ad hominem. The fact that I am little more than a faint psychic imprint formed by frozen souls of humanity is not the point. Focus on the issue at hand here. It is important for you to understand what motivates you, or someone else will figure you out and be able to manipulate you._

Serenity seethed quietly. Talking to the un-voice was as difficult as trying to argue with Ami, except worse, as Ami could be distracted by such an attempt or forced to move on to other things. The trouble was, the un-voice was right. Unfortunately, if she wasn't fighting for love and justice, then she had no idea what she was fighting for.

_Let me try to explain to you why you are not fighting for love and justice. To start with, a simple question. What is 'love'?_

If she could have made her physical body do so, she would have snorted. "Love is… um… when two people lo… uh… it's what…" Stopping entirely, she spent a good while mulling it over, refusing to give up.

_You can't describe it in words, can you?_

"It's just tricky, alright? I'll figure out how to say it eventually!" she said, trying to cover her embarrassment and confusion.

_I wouldn't expect you to manage it, even if you spent now till the heat death of the universe trying. 'Love' is a word. But it is both nothing and everything. No two beings have ever felt it quite the same, and for that reason you are incapable of describing it in any language that has ever or will ever exist, as languages form around the description of common experiences and ideas. Love is a word for something that cannot be described. And that is why you do not fight for love._

"Just because I can't describe it doesn't mean I can't fight for it!" Serenity retorted.

_You can no more fight for love than you can for electricity or black holes or the passage of time. To fight for something means to protect and serve. Love is something that simply exists. It is power that cannot be described, defined, or destroyed. It exists in an infinite number of forms. How, exactly, can you fight for something like that? For something that will exist regardless of anything you do, that will not be affected by you in any way? Love is a beautiful thing, certainly, but you do not fight for it._

Serenity wanted to laugh at such preposterous words. To deny them as false and show that she did what her companion insisted could not be done. But she could say nothing that would counter the entity's argument.

_Justice is even worse. Justice is subjective, and over the course of time everything that you find detestable has been accepted, even encouraged, in one society or another. The only 'crime' that the world would universally agree is wrong is hypocrisy, for a hypocrite does things that he himself believes to be wrong. In essence, you do not fight for justice because you cannot draw a clear line between that which is just and that which is not. How can you claim to be the representative of all humanity's morals, ready to fight for the cause of justice? I suppose that you could claim to fight for justice as you see it with your eyes, but that doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?_

Again, the un-voice conveyed a logical, sound argument that she could not dismiss out of hand. "I do the best I can." She said quietly, unable to refute or accept, and sensing something important, something that she could not quite recall.

_And that is better than most. I am not criticizing you for what you have attempted to do. I am not claiming that what you fight for is not worthwhile. I am simply saying that you are not fighting for what you think you are. You are not fighting for something that rises above all other things or something that is pure and infallible. The difference is subtle, but important._

_I am nothing more than whispers of dreams, flickers of thought, and flashes of emotion. I cannot tell you the secrets of the universe, or explain the secrets of men's hearts. I will not linger after the end of this Great Ice. But I wish you well, and so I will set this question for you to find your own answer to, and whether you succeed or not will make all the difference between flying and falling. So I ask again:_

_What are you fighting for?_

With a lurch, the world around her changed to one that was dark and cold and silent.

Neo-Queen Serenity opened her eyes.

* * *

><p>The ice melted swiftly under the light of the Ginzuishou, vanishing into the ether. It was only a small portion of the vast frozen wasteland, a circle a few feet wide. Carried upward on wings of power, the woman once known as Usagi rose above the deep layer of ice that encrusted the world and breathed fresh air for the first time in centuries, perhaps even millennia. Looking around at the frozen world, a part of her half-remembered something, something important, something that she needed to know. But she could not focus on it, it slipped away from her and sunk beneath a sea of silver power. Perhaps her friends could help her?<p>

Channeling the crystal she had worn for more years than she could recall, a nimbus of light and silver power began to form, and with a wish she sent it on its way. The ice entrapping her friends withdrew, and she felt a little sad, which was strange since she had never really liked ice that much. Now that she thought about it, the ice was rather beautiful wasn't it? It made the world crystal.

Crystal? Ah, yes, Crystal Tokyo! The perfect utopia. She could remember it now, from her visit to the future. It would be a glorious place to rule over! But she needed people to rule, didn't she? She pushed her reluctance to remove the ice away, and descended slowly towards her stirring senshi. Well, she probably didn't want to get rid of all the ice yet. She'd best check with Mercury, as she would be able to discern the best way to wake up her subjects. It wasn't like they'd had magical powers, so she would have to be gentler, wouldn't she?

Pausing over the bleary eyed, slowly waking forms of her servants, she drew yet more power from the crystal. There was something wrong with what she'd just thought. Of course! She could just use the crystal! It wasn't like it would hurt them or anything. In fact, she could probably heal them all! She had so much more power now, it would be no problem. With this at her disposal fighting enemies would be easier than ever.

There was something about that thought that was important. Perhaps there was an enemy somewhere? Her mind was so scattered right now, it was a good thing she had the crystal to help her keep it together. Well, if there was an enemy, she couldn't sense it, but best to just send out a purifying wave for a few blocks or so to make sure. Fighting for love and justice was a never-ending duty. She really wished that she could just make people not be evil; her life would be so much easier that way.

Something troubled her though. It was at the back of her mind, like a nagging doubt, trying to get her attention. But why did she need to think about what she was fighting for? She wasn't fighting anyone at the moment, was she? No time for that now though. She had a utopia to build.

She'd just think about it later. What harm was there in that?

On her breast, the Ginzuishou glimmered brightly, ready to share its light with all the world.


End file.
